In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
