Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
