There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize