he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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