We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
