Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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