ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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