Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
