he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So vagazzling was a success
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
