butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
