Non-Jews are for practice
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize