hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
