Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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