so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
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I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle