remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.