awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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