I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage