I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize