In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
