I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
