youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
