Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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