On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
FUCK WHALES
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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