fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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