I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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