i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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