Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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