Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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