Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
