Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize