Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
