capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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