i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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