Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
