i permit you to call me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
