How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My vagina just recognized that song.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
