I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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