I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
