its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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