the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend