she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold