If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
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