You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
