You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
