How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
