One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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