if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
