you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
