He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
