Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
