it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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