just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
