Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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