New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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