I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
