I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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