she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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