Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I will be naked everywhere
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
