Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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