Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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