He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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