is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
