maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
