there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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