Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
