That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
